Sweet Jenny, I feel you so much on wanting to take the wallpaper with you (and there are legit no rules, you could always take large-scale photos of it and re-print it if you want!) This reminds me of my very sweet uncle. When he and his wife were divorcing after many years of marriage and several children together, he kept the house. His wife was devastated to leave behind the plank of wood on the wall near the kitchen, which had the measurements of each child growing over time. So, as a surprise, he removed the plank of wood and copied it with a laser cutter onto another piece of wood, making an exact copy. He installed the copy in his kitchen, and gave her the original as a Christmas gift. To me, that was one of the highest testaments to what love can be, even after divorce. A love that is ever changing and evolving, but also grounded in mutual care and respect. So special.
Kat, I am so sorry to hear this, I can't even imagine the feeling. I just donated and I hope other readers will do the same. Thank you for sharing and tell Uncle Gene we are thinking of him.
It is a staggering book. I finished it about a month ago and I still can’t stop thinking about it. When you’re done, listen to Ezra Klein interview Barbra Kingsolver.
Love anticipating the one pot dinner post and a shout out to The Dinner Plan cookbook by Kathy Brennan and Caroline Campion. They label all meals with some or all of these labels: Make-Ahead, Staggered, One-Dish, Pantry, or Extra-Fast. The Staggered meal suggestions were a revelation when the middle school years hit in our house and I still turn to their Mexican Skillet Lasagna (Staggered, One-Dish, Pantry) on a regular basis in the winter.
so help me i'm about to write a Very Long Comment about the retrievals...glob, it pissed me off so much, but made me think, too. i understand yale's response is a result of imminent/impending/pending litigation but just...wow. what was worse were the doctors and nurses who brushed off the PTSD these women now have at appointments after the fact. how hard is it to say "i'm so sorry that happened to you, please let me know if there's anything i can do to make you feel safe today." ??? the absolute nerve of some people...
and what about the part where i first imagined this nurse like the pharmacy character on house, MD who is just a guy in the little room doling out meds unsupervised...and thus horrible as it was she probably was able to distance herself from the pain she was inflicting since she never saw any of it. until we learned...she not only was an IVF patient herself but was also IN THE ROOM with these women holding their hands as they screamed in pain?? like?? the gut punch i felt hearing that...
but, also, the series has a way of asking you to reconcile what you believe with what is. like, the discrepancy between what is known and what isn't, when it comes to the timeline of the nurse stealing the fentanyl. i believe the women who say they experienced terrible pain before The Window, but, i don't think that's necessarily evidence they got saline. so, am i doing exactly what this podcast is really about, contributing to this gaslighting, doubting or minimizing a woman's pain? just like the confirmed victims went through? or do i just understand that pain is so personal and so different for each person, and there are larger issues like the drugs yale uses might not be enough to begin with and maybe that's what they experienced? and who am i to even think one way or the other when i haven't lived it?
moreover, and this was The Big Thing for me - the sentence this woman got WAS laughable. and steeped in SO MUCH race/gender/class bs. and for the pain she caused and the domino effect it has and how she expressed no remorse at any time, it blew my mind a little bit. yet, simultaneously, prison doesn't do anything and isn't helping anyone. so the sentence aligns with my theoretical feelings about addiction and the prison system and yet, it made me mad. that was hard to think about, and i will for a long time.
ANYWAY also i love the wallpaper, what a cool idea. when my mom stripped the wallpaper in my baby room, she saved it. not all of it, but some pieces. i'm a person who is very attached to STUFF, physical things, so i love that she did this. i would at the very least take photos or a video of this wall before i left for sure!
Agree with all of this JN, I walked around angry and confused for days especially the sentence which was absurd when seen through the race/gender/class lens. And this might be a strange thing to say, but I was so grateful for the women who allowed themselves to be interviewed. Maybe it was that so many of them worked at Yale, but I was blown away by how perfectly positioned they were to discuss such complex issues: the addiction therapist, the woman who is a lecturer on feminist theory, a public defender. I couldn't believe how much I learned from them...I hate that they had to endure this, but boy, they've done this world a real service by giving voice to their experience.
yes!! it was truly bizarre, the overlap of these women's professions and this...this Horrible Thing. how things aligned to be able to tell this story and touch on so many important topics is nothing short of remarkable. i hesitate to use a term like "silver lining", but, yes, i am so grateful for their willingness to participate.
OMG, I want that wallpaper!! I moved 13 times in 10 years so it would totally have had to be a portable wall but I'm sure I could've figure out a way to do that! :D Loving all of the recipes around summer produce too. I'm itching for autumn but still need heirloom tomato dishes. :-)
Eagerly awaiting the "one-pot dinners that can sit on the stove for hours"! A few nights a week we, too, are eating at scattered times. I've been trying to build my repertoire of dinners that tastes just as good later as it does earlier. And I'm off the library to get that cookbook Courtney suggested in the comments.
Sweet Jenny, I feel you so much on wanting to take the wallpaper with you (and there are legit no rules, you could always take large-scale photos of it and re-print it if you want!) This reminds me of my very sweet uncle. When he and his wife were divorcing after many years of marriage and several children together, he kept the house. His wife was devastated to leave behind the plank of wood on the wall near the kitchen, which had the measurements of each child growing over time. So, as a surprise, he removed the plank of wood and copied it with a laser cutter onto another piece of wood, making an exact copy. He installed the copy in his kitchen, and gave her the original as a Christmas gift. To me, that was one of the highest testaments to what love can be, even after divorce. A love that is ever changing and evolving, but also grounded in mutual care and respect. So special.
What a story, Kat. Thank you so much for sharing. Also: Can I hire your uncle?
If you want to fly him out from Gasquet, California, I’m sure he’d be delighted 🤣
Jenny, I am so sorry to post this here, but in insane and horrifying timing, my same Uncle Gene just lost his house and everything he owns today in the California wildfires. I hope this is appropriate and I completely understand if it's not, but his son posted a Go Fund Me and I want to spread the word about it as they just lost absolutely everything. This is my first time knowing someone directly impacted by the fires, and it's such a horrible and helpless feeling. https://www.gofundme.com/f/b5gga-my-family-get-back-on-their-feet?member=28851249&sharetype=teams&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook
Kat, I am so sorry to hear this, I can't even imagine the feeling. I just donated and I hope other readers will do the same. Thank you for sharing and tell Uncle Gene we are thinking of him.
Thank you so much, Jenny. That means the absolute world.
Ordered Demon Copperhead - thanks for the reminder. She gives me so much pride in being from Kentucky!
It is a staggering book. I finished it about a month ago and I still can’t stop thinking about it. When you’re done, listen to Ezra Klein interview Barbra Kingsolver.
That mosaic wall 😭💔 I can understand why you’d want to take it with you!!
Love anticipating the one pot dinner post and a shout out to The Dinner Plan cookbook by Kathy Brennan and Caroline Campion. They label all meals with some or all of these labels: Make-Ahead, Staggered, One-Dish, Pantry, or Extra-Fast. The Staggered meal suggestions were a revelation when the middle school years hit in our house and I still turn to their Mexican Skillet Lasagna (Staggered, One-Dish, Pantry) on a regular basis in the winter.
"My mosaic of cringe." And how! Bless us all this fledging season. And good luck to you with the move.
so help me i'm about to write a Very Long Comment about the retrievals...glob, it pissed me off so much, but made me think, too. i understand yale's response is a result of imminent/impending/pending litigation but just...wow. what was worse were the doctors and nurses who brushed off the PTSD these women now have at appointments after the fact. how hard is it to say "i'm so sorry that happened to you, please let me know if there's anything i can do to make you feel safe today." ??? the absolute nerve of some people...
and what about the part where i first imagined this nurse like the pharmacy character on house, MD who is just a guy in the little room doling out meds unsupervised...and thus horrible as it was she probably was able to distance herself from the pain she was inflicting since she never saw any of it. until we learned...she not only was an IVF patient herself but was also IN THE ROOM with these women holding their hands as they screamed in pain?? like?? the gut punch i felt hearing that...
but, also, the series has a way of asking you to reconcile what you believe with what is. like, the discrepancy between what is known and what isn't, when it comes to the timeline of the nurse stealing the fentanyl. i believe the women who say they experienced terrible pain before The Window, but, i don't think that's necessarily evidence they got saline. so, am i doing exactly what this podcast is really about, contributing to this gaslighting, doubting or minimizing a woman's pain? just like the confirmed victims went through? or do i just understand that pain is so personal and so different for each person, and there are larger issues like the drugs yale uses might not be enough to begin with and maybe that's what they experienced? and who am i to even think one way or the other when i haven't lived it?
moreover, and this was The Big Thing for me - the sentence this woman got WAS laughable. and steeped in SO MUCH race/gender/class bs. and for the pain she caused and the domino effect it has and how she expressed no remorse at any time, it blew my mind a little bit. yet, simultaneously, prison doesn't do anything and isn't helping anyone. so the sentence aligns with my theoretical feelings about addiction and the prison system and yet, it made me mad. that was hard to think about, and i will for a long time.
ANYWAY also i love the wallpaper, what a cool idea. when my mom stripped the wallpaper in my baby room, she saved it. not all of it, but some pieces. i'm a person who is very attached to STUFF, physical things, so i love that she did this. i would at the very least take photos or a video of this wall before i left for sure!
Agree with all of this JN, I walked around angry and confused for days especially the sentence which was absurd when seen through the race/gender/class lens. And this might be a strange thing to say, but I was so grateful for the women who allowed themselves to be interviewed. Maybe it was that so many of them worked at Yale, but I was blown away by how perfectly positioned they were to discuss such complex issues: the addiction therapist, the woman who is a lecturer on feminist theory, a public defender. I couldn't believe how much I learned from them...I hate that they had to endure this, but boy, they've done this world a real service by giving voice to their experience.
yes!! it was truly bizarre, the overlap of these women's professions and this...this Horrible Thing. how things aligned to be able to tell this story and touch on so many important topics is nothing short of remarkable. i hesitate to use a term like "silver lining", but, yes, i am so grateful for their willingness to participate.
that wallpaper! and the duvet cover, too!
Thumbs up to the future “ staggered dinners” post. And thanks for everything!
Your Weekday Vegetarians is my desert island cookbook, I ❤️ it so much!!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
OMG, I want that wallpaper!! I moved 13 times in 10 years so it would totally have had to be a portable wall but I'm sure I could've figure out a way to do that! :D Loving all of the recipes around summer produce too. I'm itching for autumn but still need heirloom tomato dishes. :-)
Eagerly awaiting the "one-pot dinners that can sit on the stove for hours"! A few nights a week we, too, are eating at scattered times. I've been trying to build my repertoire of dinners that tastes just as good later as it does earlier. And I'm off the library to get that cookbook Courtney suggested in the comments.
OMG, this is amazing Jenny!
I also recently started my own newletter! Would be so grateful if you could give a quick read!
https://open.substack.com/pub/rey10/p/pilot-august-12-2023-day-1?r=2eps92&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web